


Shut up and come, you buffoon

by JudeAraya



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Body Worship, M/M, PWP, face fucking, just like face fucking should be, that's longer than a drabble, tumblr drabble, wrote it fast so it's messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24220309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeAraya/pseuds/JudeAraya
Summary: “Just so you know,” Phil said, conversationally, “I don’t care where they went.”“What?”“Your abs. I never have and never will care about where they are or aren’t."Some PWP body appreciation.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 24
Kudos: 123





	Shut up and come, you buffoon

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this[ exchange](https://judearaya.tumblr.com/post/618294703082897408/) and my smartass tags on how I could say something really dirty in response. A couple of anons asked and I...delivered. Y'all I wrote this in like 25 minutes and am posting with minimal obsession over errors. Let's call it an exercise in me letting go of my anxieties over perfection. 
> 
> Thank you for the vibe check to my lovely Puddle. The title of this piece was meant to be a joke but you made a strong case for the humor of it all.

Dan stewed for two hours. 

Well, perhaps stewed was not the right word. Mulled. Obsessed? Overthought? 

Whatever the term was, Dan could not get Phil’s comment out of his mind. By the time they were both ready to go to bed, it was all Dan could think about. He wouldn’t admit, later, that he had a plan to tease Phil about it—and perhaps gain some kind of needed affirmation—but he totally did. 

Phil was already in bed, glasses on and book in his lap when Dan came in, stripping off his shirt and tossing it in the direction of their hamper. Phil shot him a sunny smile and put his book down. 

“Good book?” Dan asked, pulling his pants down much more slowly than he normally would. 

“Yeah, sure. Interesting.” Phil said, instantly distracted. He watched Dan carefully, smile changing when Dan was done. Sharpening in that way it did when he was thinking particularly dirty things. Or wanting them. He got up on his knees and shuffled over to Dan, who stayed at the edge of the bed, waiting for him. Phil’s hands were a little cold when he slid them around Dan’s waist, pulling him closer. He kissed Dan’s collarbone with teeth and tongue, hard and assertive. 

“Hm,” Dan hummed and threaded his fingers through Phil’s hair. He loved Phil like this, no prelude, no hesitation, just hunger and taking. “So…” 

“Yeah?” Phil kissed down his chest, one hand cupping Dan’s cock, sliding down to cup his balls through his pants. Dan grunted, distracted when Phil pushed them down roughly, taking Dan by the hips and pulling him onto the bed. They landed in a tangled heap. This would be when Dan would laugh, or Phil’s giggles would catch them by surprise. When Dan would call him some sort of affectionate insult and Phil would shut him up with his mouth or fingers. 

And Dan _did_ start to laugh but then Phil had him on his back, already sliding his fingers into Dan’s mouth. It was reflex to suck on them, to nip at the tips, to feel the sharp and heady desire for more. The fingers of Phil’s free hand were in Dan’s hair then, a little rough, tipping his head back. Dan had meant to tease Phil, to wind him up, to get Phil off with a smirk and a smart-ass comment about Phil’s throwaway comment. 

Instead, Phil was straddling his shoulders and Dan was opening his mouth easily, practiced and sure and always, always in love with sucking his dick. 

Phil made sure to make eye contact with him, like he always did, checking in without words, before he began to move. Dan relaxed his throat, hands cupping Phil’s ass by reflex. Sex was a practiced dance by now. They didn’t know everything about each other, necessarily. Well, Dan hoped not, because discovery and change were thrilling with a trusted partner. But they knew each other well enough to know exactly how to do _this_. Phil was moving with a controlled grace. There was nothing tentative about his movements, and there wouldn’t be. Only when he was close, when he was on the verge of coming would Phil lose that control, movements jerking and uncoordinated and so fucking delicious. Already Dan’s cock was leaking precome, throbbing, toes curling with the pleasure of being used. 

He dug his fingers into the meat of Phil’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart, when Phil began to lose it. Dan was taking shallow breaths, little sips of air, in preparation for that moment he so loved, when Phil would push down his throat and come, grinding and pulsing. 

Only he didn’t. Only just as soon as Dan was sure he was going to, Phil pulled out of his mouth with a groan. Dan’s throat was too raw to whimper at the loss but he wanted to. Phil’s hand was on his dick, already pumping, when he shuffled down Dan’s body. Dan would have gotten a hand on him but Phil’s legs had his arms pinned. All he could do was watch the flush that spread from Phil’s face, down his neck. The way the corded tendons of his neck stood out when he grunted and bit his lip and came all over Dan’s stomach and chest. He came and came and Dan was so hard and breathless, so caught off guard by the quickness of, well...everything, he had no words. Phil slumped over, kissing Dan off center and sloppy and panting, before flopping off of him and onto his back. 

Dan cleared his throat, tried to speak, and then swallowed before clearing his throat again. Phil’s eyes were half closed and blissed out. His body was long and pale and so beautiful and his smile—god his smile was just something else. 

“What was—” 

“Just so you know,” Phil said, conversationally, “I don’t care where they went.” 

“What?” 

“Your abs. I never have and never will care about where they are or aren’t. And if you need me to, I’ll jerk off on any part of your body so that you know.” 

“What the ever loving—so that I’ll know what?” 

Phil rolled over, propped up on one elbow, and kissed Dan fiercely. “That every part of you is really fucking hot.” 

“How did you kn— _oh_ —” Dan breathed in sharply when Phil’s hand came around his cock and squeezed.

“Because I know you, idiot,” Phil said, both fond and filthy in that way only he could. “You’ve been obsessing about that comment.” 

“I—” 

“I’m going to shut you up again,” Phil said. He spit into his hand and went back to jerking Dan off, only now with intent, hard and fast how Dan loved. “And if you need reminders of how hot you are in the future, I am happy to keep shutting you up.” 

“Noted,” Dan said, and moaned, fucking up into Phil’s touch. “Complain about self a lot from now on.” 

“Shut up and come, you buffoon,” Phil said, and they were both laughing when Dan did.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to visit and[reblog](https://judearaya.tumblr.com/post/618301199419162624) on tumblr!


End file.
